If My Cubical Walls Could Talk, They'd Sound Like This

When the volunteer work desk that sits on the other side of one of my cubical walls isn't covered with crock pots full of lil'smokies drowning in bbq sauce, it's usually full of middle school girls. Who are, oddly enough, also drowning in bbq sauce. Well, maybe the girls aren't in a sauce and the crock pot/little smokies thing only happened once, but after 8 hours of marinating, the air was a bit thick...Anyway, the girls are all too happy to help out the school secretary by giving graciously of their time. I can tell you, because I was one of them, that middle school girls absolutely loathe a legitimate excuse to get out of class. Overhearing their conversations is always entertaining; which more than makes up for the fact that, much like the weenie marinating, having them down here is not highly condusive to personal productivity.

Example 1
Girls labeling envelopes. Giggles. "Oh my gosh! Her dad's name is Guy!" Giggles. Giggles. "That's like the opposite of Girl!" Giggling. Giggles. "Wouldn't it be funny if someone's name was Girl!" Peals and peals of hilarious giggling giggles. "Yeah! Like, Hi. I'm Girl Smith!" Much giggling giggleness.


Example 2
Girls folding letters and stuffing them into envelopes.
Girl #1: "I think it would be so much fun to be a secretary and work in an office."
Girl #2 & #3 (in unison): "Yeah, that'd be awesome!"
Girl #1: "I can't wait! You get to photocopy things, and check the mail, and answer phones, and transfer people, and write things down, and bring people coffee."
Girl #2 & #3 (unison-do they practice?): "Ohmygoshyeah!"
Girl #2: "I'd be so scared to answer the phone!"
Girl #3: "I know! What happens if you transfer people to the wrong place?!"
Girl #1: "You'd probably get fired! But I'd never do that because I'm good at stuff like this."
Girls #2 & #3 (in unison): "Yeah...."

The above script was based on actual events. No middle school girls were harmed in the overhearing of these conversations. The weenies however, were smothered in a rich, thick sauce and enjoyed by most members of the paid office staff.