Questions They SHOULD Have Asked

1) Are you a stickler?
Not in the way that if I had to describe myself in only three words, one of them would be "stickler."

2) Do these pants make me look fat?
Not at first. But probably after lunch and as the day wears on, you'll find them increasingly uncomfortable.

3) Tell us the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you.
It happens every time someone laughs at something I say. Unless, I'm feeling irritable and Husband laughs when obviously it is not funny!

4) If given the choice, would you prefer to be able to breathe underwater or talk to animals?
Immediately my reaction is definitely the talking to animals one because I don't really like water. But a thorough thinking-through of this choice is indeed necessary.
Breathing underwater; Pros: won't need the scuba lessons, fear of drowning no longer necessary baggage, childhood dream of feeling like a fish realized. Cons: not a huge fan of bodies of water larger than my bathtub, not a great swimmer, would require wearing a bathing suit in public more often than never.
Talking to animals; Pros: they could have some very interesting and insightful things to say and much could be learned, i could calmly ask bees, flies, mosquitoes, and other various buggy and icky things to just go away and stop bothering me, finally find out what the heck cats have to go around being all superior about. Cons: the "Dr. Doolittle" affect.
Hey, look at that shiny thing! Should I get a haircut or grow it out? I think I'm thirsty. This is kinda boring. Wait, what was I thinking about?

5) Do you make decisions easily?
Um. Yes. I think so. Wait. Most of the time. Uh, actually just see question 4.